Friday, August 25, 2006

Things Fall Apart

I dont really understand Time. I dont understand her a bit. More than that i dont understand my relationship with her...nor do i understand teh games she plays. She seems good when she heals...she's a bitch when she changes...and a support system when she's most needed.

I dint really think i would invest my leftover resources writing about her..especially tonight. I dont see reason in doing this...but what the hell..i dont see reason ever. She doesnt understand me right now..or rather, i dont want to understand her at the moment..she leaves me miserable tonight. The pain is jus an extent that at 1.30 am when the rest of Sensibility sleeps.. i am awake...wide awake.

I attempt to think and yeah.. i hit upon a lot of questions..more than i can handle... Why does she race so fast? OR am i jus a bit too slow in keeping pace? Why is she being so cruel to me? Or am i just misunderstanding her kindness??

"Once upon a golden time, there was a girl. Along the path she walked..and it rained leaves on her, each time. One day..she felt a strange desire to bathe in the rain of those leaves and flowers..she walked on that path, hopeful. And that day, it never really rained. On the contrary, the scorching sun drained her of everything...and since then..she stopped looking out for the rain of leaves and the beauty it had harboured"

Someone told me today that not everything can be expressed in words..and right now..i fel rightly so. The power of Words is Zilch. Nothing really matters, until we want it to. Nothing is beautiful, unless we perceive it so. Nothing is true, unless we choose to belive.

Its all fake.

There's a world ahead
And there's a world behind
People are jus people and Feelings
Amount to Nothing.
The stars are misleading
The clouds are heavy
The wind isnt a friend anymore
and Music makes no sense.
The dreamy nights are Fairy Tales now
And Others' Choice matters more
Feelings within- the more supressed..
the more they Cry out..
There's a world ahead
And there's a world behind
Standing at Crossroads,
I know, tomorrow, at dawn,
This won't mean a thing.
i dint really mean to hit back after 2months with a depressing post..but to me, this aint depressing. Its jus introspective..and i can't help it if the realization comes a lil too late to me.