Friday, September 26, 2008

Kabhi Kabhi...

"i love this girl who i never see
cause she is not beyond 4 feet
amazing talent in her soul
she carries with her various roles
from funny to class to a best friend
In difficulty a hand she lends
most amazing smile she carries too
Hey Bunny I love you."

I found this poem... a very close friend had written it for me long time back. We used to be really close- talk for hours...about anything and everything. And shared the deepest secrets with such ease.
If there was something that made me cry - he'd know before the tear fell.
If there was something he could not talk about - I'd be the first to know.

Our bond was special.. really really special. We were each other's 4am friends.. Came together when both of us were hurting.. Spent sleepless nights talking to each other... trying to solve mysteries which I guess should've remained unsolved.

Somewhere...we lost each other.. and it fucking hurts.

I can never replace this friendship by another. I don't know if he has. I don't know if he can.

I know that I'd be healed in a second if the friendship along with the love just hugged me once..

But I guess sometimes Life doesn't give us a second chance. We only get what we deserve. And maybe, I don't deserve this chance.

It doesn't stop me from missing my best friend, my companion, my mate... It leaves me empty, hollow...wounded.. craving for a little love.

It is precisely times like these when the only thing I could wish for, is the lap of my Grandmother. A place, where peace was in abundance.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Atisshhoooooo!!

Theres nothing wrong with dreaming. As long as we know its just that - dreams. Finding neverland was never that easy, and never will be.
**********
Remember those mails we got long back which said "someone somewhere is thinking of u" - after years of laughing at those, I finally realize it is true! Today, when I was just taking some quiet time off...a friend called and told me he had been thinking of me a lot lately... in a strange way, it feels good, that someone on this planet misses you... umm...apart from your mom and dad that is!
**************
Sometimes, it is best to smile at nothing rather than cry for a zillion other things...
**************
The song on my player : Phir Dekhiye

Ankhon mein jiski, koi toh khwab hai
Khush hai wohi jo, thora betaab hai
Zindagi mein koi aarzoo kijiye... Phir Dekhiye...!!

And behold my dear one!! "If you want something bad enuf, the universe will conspire so that you get it"!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

You Wanna Make a Memory?!

Its kinda simple to make one... and then without any external help (or even your own desires), you'd go on making them..
To add to the effect, I must give in a testimonial : They're delicious!!

1. First... you musttttt have a clean - absolutely spotless mind. That way, you've ensured there are no germs that may/may not interfere!

2. Add some fun moments - like unintended crazy shots of humour, some innocent pranks, a rush to the centre of the heart coupled with a dash of tenderness and some colours of togetherness... These colours don't fade, so there's not much of a worry there!

3. Mix all of that with some melody - preferably, with your song. Every one has a personal song. Not a song they share with anyone...

4. Steal some time off the shelf and grind it with the mixture you just prepared!!

5. Stir the above well and not for too long. Memories are delicate - you can't stretch them too long or they become cumbersome and difficult to digest.

6. Lastly, garnish it with the best smile ever - it just adds to all the beauty you just concocted!


Now for some preservatives:

>>Never ever ever get into the Dil Chahta Hai mode and associate any replica ingredient with the memory you've created. Ruins it. Like makes it stink. So refrain.

>> Each time the memory is opened for use, shut it with a smile - or else, it remain open and can be stolen. You don't want that.

>> Never try to dispose a Memory - they come back, in some form or the other - thaaaaat, you might not like. So don't bother risking it!

Some of my favorite memories would include :

The One With Vrinda after she forgot her phone at Barista at 11pm, PVR Saket
The One With Moitreyee when we travelled all around CP trying to spend quality time...
The One With Mansi and Priya in the auto with the famous "ek raat ka 1500" dialogue
The One With US at the Reliance Shoot....
The One With Namita - at the Friends Club
The One With Tanya and Shaziya - lunch with Kababs and crank calls to Sahil
The One with Neha - all the Jerryisms during practice , and her Fast Track shades-shopping!
The One With Prakhar- Holi and Costa Coffee; with leaves falling all over GK M Block-N Block
The One With Ankita - when I gave my Ice Cream away
The One with Sohini - singin in the rain on her bday and the dinner at most shady place ever!
The One with Nadir, Harshad, and Mitin : a JAM, followed by Chak De...followed by Khoya Khoya Chand, and a sleepy Harshad
The One with Sohini and Ritambhara: The Shoot!!!
The One with Priyo: 3 am "photoshop" tutorials which still continue
The One with Vaishali: Panchgani gyaan
The One with Ruhi: Mujra at 4am!! Love Thy Neighbourzzz...sighh!
The One with Malini: Bombay Times... Randomness!!
The One with Kunal- all the tickly moments in class besides the fact we called up a Call girl!!
The One with Shoeb- Metro Times and Paharganj : ummm.. looking for Chillums
The One with Mayur- the series of fights...Christmas..Powaii..The random drive to Lonavla, the last day of exams!
The One with Sahil, Mansi and Moitreyee - CP and a lunch - a half an hour random drive in circles!!! Inner circle!!
The One with Bhavin: "Brilliant Brilliant - you just fucked it up"
The One with Sana: "Where is Toba Tek Singh" - to all the random people out there
The One with Lakshya: All the friggin time!!!
The One with Vivek: Kathi Rolls and Essay writing
The One with Prakhar and Vrinda: New Year's and THE bonfire..!!
The One with Nitin: Linkin Road...Kotak Mahindra and Power gym : Its "official"
The One With Suneera and Sahiba: Group study..! oh and Al Bake!!!!
The One with Susan: Solan...on way to Kasauli...buildings and all!
The One with Anand: Terrace...the guitar... and some songs
The One with Nick: Of Ice creams, no phones and the last metro in Prague
The One with Parents: The last time i had dinner with them
The One with Grandparents: When I learnt how to place my feet on the surface of earth!

Memories, anyone?!

Monday, September 08, 2008

Free Falling?!

Has it ever happened that you loved someone a lot...admired them..were proud of them but then they did something that completely put a question to your understanding of them? And then you gave them a second chance only to be embittered by the experience... and then to top it all they did all the things that would make you lose respect for them?

Its easy to stop loving someone... or to detach... to move on... but whoa.. to lose respect for someone severs all the strings attached!

Recently, this guy I had dated found the most ludicrous reasons to break-up... should have laughed at it, but it sorta well.. let's say in an old fashioned way, made me cry. If that was not enough he said the most immature things ever - one being asked me to grow up and get out of my Peter Pan syndrome! Whatever THAAAAT means!

Isnt the distinction between being immature and possessing the Peter Pan syndrome quite evident? I well, just feel sad for those who can't figure it out. Peter Pan is associated with the vibrant youth.. the whole thing of keeping the kid alive in you - always!
Immaturity is, " you took my chocolate away, so now I'll take yours so you know how it feels" - wait, is that called being vengeful? Whatever it is, its weird to have such thoughts harbour around your otherwise peaceful, simple existence!

On the other hand... I have this friend who I grew apart from... for reasons unknown to either of us... and well, though he has always succeeded in disappointing me, the things he does... the things he says... just makes my respect go higher each day...

Its all relative i guess... or maybe it isnt. Its all about Probability these days.

"The summer's flower is to the summer sweet,
Though to itself it only live and die,
But if that flower with base infection meet,
The basest weed outbraves his dignity:
For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds;
Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds."

- Shakespeare

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Bring it On... Oh Yeah Right!

Thought for the Day : Its wrong...sinful...to expect to be on a break WHEN on a break!

All these alumni nights said it loud and clear : SIMC never leaves u... haunts u... tracks u down and finds a way of getting back in touch!

I decided in a moment of flurry that i needed a break...desperately - from the dissertation readings..from the self study's...from the lemon-sucked faces of some people..yikes! Took a flight and Delhi hugged me again...put me to a peaceful 12-hour sleep...

Only to be awakened to another project.

What's good is... I like doing this to myself now. Promise myself a break, and then break the promise itself. That way, I learn NOT to take every promise for granted. Every dream for reality. I learn to expect the worst. Sounds cynical, does it? Oh no... for this was the time i wanted to pamper my own self.